He is an equal opportunity slut.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
