oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize