If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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