You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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