just tell him i said nine months
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
