nut hugger
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Randomize
