apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You need a sexual gate keeper
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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