after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
