My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
