is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Randomize
