Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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