i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
