singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
