At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
