You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize