Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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