woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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