fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
