It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
