Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
