I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
