Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Operation Purity has been aborted
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
