you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
what the fuck happened to the tacos
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
