Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
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They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
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I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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