we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
