I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I deserve this hangover.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
