I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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