I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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