Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
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Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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