why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
