Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize