Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
