Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
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He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
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How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize