hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
