you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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