We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
My vagina is very pro this idea
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
