If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
