Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
