Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize