ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize