After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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