We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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