Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(319): View more from Iowa

i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet

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(514): View more from Quebec

you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night

(514): View more from Quebec

i got kicked out last time for laughing

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(904): View more from Florida

I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.

(1-904): View more from Florida

It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.

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(631): View more from New York

So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone

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(847): View more from Illinois

Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess

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(973): View more from New Jersey

when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.

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(217): View more from Illinois

Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..

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(765): View more from Indiana

I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n

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