we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.