he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
