That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
