Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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