With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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