i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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