seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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