I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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