have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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