Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Fuck appropriateness.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
