All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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