Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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