Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
