i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
