i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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