he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
