Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
i think my cat just said my name.
We are all done wearing pants today
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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