she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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